Tag Archives: planned parenthood

The Tea House of Representatives: Back to the bad old days

Conservatives really hate women. Actually, they pretty much hate anyone who isn’t rich, white and male. And Christian. Preferably American. But women, public enemy number one. Even when they’re tired of bashing the queers or finding extremist Muslims under every rock or blaming Mexicans for the lack of jobs or whining about “welfare queens,” they’re never to tired to dream up new and torturous ways to screw women, literally and figuratively.

Take the Tea House of Representatives. Please. Their first order of business was, of course, to repeal health care and make sure that you paid more for less health care, that if you lose your job, and the health insurance that comes with it, and have some terminal disease, you won’t be able to get insurance again and that your kids are shit out of luck if they need insurance.

But their next order of business? Redefining rape. Yep. According to the conservative assholes in the Tea House of Representatives, it isn’t rape unless you have enough bruising and lacerations. Oh, and by the way, incest doesn’t count anymore either. And this is just in a bill that bans federal funding for abortions across the board, except for rape, of course, and provided it was “forcible” enough. No, if you are drugged by some cretin who then has sex with your drug-addled body, it is not rape.

Although I’d be willing to bet if Neil Patrick Harris drugged Rep. Chris Smith, the idiot who wrote this bill, and then had sex with his drug-addled body, Chris would be rushing to change the language in his bill. Probably to say that homosexual rape doesn’t have to be forcible. Fortunately for us, Neil wouldn’t do such a thing, and even if he were inclined to, Chris Smith, R-New Jersey, would not be in the running.

By the way, 173 Tea House Republicans have signed on to co-sponsor little Chrissie’s bill.

Of course, abortion is pretty much the top target for these Tea Housers and other conservative slime. The seem to think that all straight liberal women do is fuck and run out and get abortions, depriving them of overloading the world population even more than it already is. Personally, I’m in favor of some retroactive abortions, but that’s another post.

Anyway, they squawk about killing babies, but that’s not what it’s about at all. It’s about control. Control over women. Barefoot and pregnant. Women should be in the kitchen and not the Tea House. They use the killing babies thing to appeal to the women in their midst, because even they wouldn’t go for it if they understood what it’s really about. The poor little babies.

Personally, I’m not that fond of the idea of abortions myself. I’m never going to have to make that decision for myself, so I can’t say with certainty what I would do if I found myself with an unwanted pregnancy. If I did, it would most certainly be from rape, maybe incest. But what if it weren’t forcible enough for John Boehner?

But here’s the thing: I would prefer that abortions are never necessary, but sometimes they are. And the fucking assholes who say they aren’t have written a bill that changes the definition of rape to “forcible rape.” And that’s precisely why I would never want to see abortions banned. When men can act like human beings instead of sex-crazed animals, maybe. But until then? Fuck you, Chris Smith.

There’s even been some talk among some conservatives about repealing suffrage.

And these jackasses will stoop to anything to try to win — mainly because they know they’re fucking wrong and if they don’t cheat, it won’t happen. But they should seriously reconsider use of the “sting and heavily edited video” operations because so far it’s been an utter failure.

First there was the ACORN sting, which unfortunately wasn’t revealed to be total bullshit until far to late to save the organization. And honestly, ACORN was an easy target. It was loosely organized and really didn’t have tight enough controls on its “volunteers.” Nevertheless, the James O’Keefe video was total bullshit. As was his attempt to bug Sen. Mary Landrieu’s office. He was arrested for that one. And then his benefactor, Andrew Breitbart, ran with the Shirley Sherrod video, which, again unfortunately, was not revealed to be bullshit until the Obama administration, in its haste to kiss the ass of conservatives, had fired her. But the bullshittiness of it was revealed very quickly.

So now the conservatives are playing a tiny little video snippit that purports to show Planned Parenthood staffers helping a guy who says he’s a sex trafficker find a back alley abortion for one of his girls. SEEEEEEE EEEEEEEVVVVIIILLLLL PLLLANNNNNEEDDDDDD PPPPPAAAARRREENNNTTTHOOOODDD! Except that during the four or five days last month that these supposed sex traffickers were visiting several Planned Parenthood offices, Planned Parenthood reported the supposed sex trafficking ring. To Attorney General Eric Holder. AND they said they thought it might be a hoax, too.

Sting FAIL, big guys.

Conservatives really suck at investigative journalism, y’know. They seem to start with what they think is going on, and then they devise “stings” to make what they think is going on go on. Of course, they’re invariably wrong, too. That’s just not how it works.  Wanna know how it works?  Go check out Investigative Reporters and Editors (IRE), which is a 35-year-old non-profit dedicated to improving the quality of investigative reporting.

Hey, wait! I have an idea! Let’s “sting” IRE! We can prove they only care about liberal investigations. Or something.

Do something

This is who America put in charge of the House Oversight Committee:

Darrell Issa, a man who used his power to prevent the ranking Democrat on the committee from using his opening statement to charge that Issa prevented the summoning of a witness from JPMorgan Chase to explain the bank’s role in alleged foreclosure fraud.

This is who Kentuckians, already saddled with a man who likes like a turtle and declared that his main goal for the next two years is to stop Barack Obama from being re-elected, chose to join Mitch McConnell in the Senate:

Rand Paul, a man who declared on CNN he wanted to end all foreign aid. ALL foreign aid. No exceptions. Of course, he also isn’t sure he would have voted for the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

New Mexico. That’s a state that skipped jumping the shark and went all the way to batshit insane. The new governor, Susana Martinez, picked Harrison Schmidt, to head up the state’s environmental concerns. Schmitt, in case the name sounds familiar, is a former astronaut and U.S. senator, who went on conspiracy freak Alex Jones’ radio show to claim that “the environmental movement” is just a bunch of commies scaring people by misusing science.

But then, New Mexico is right next door to Arizona, which is following up its “show your papers” law by banning ethnic studies in public schools and targeting the 14th Amendment because it declares that if you’re born in the United States, you’re a citizen. Can’t have that. The children of illegal immigrants might send secret messages to their mothers from the womb, forcing them to risk life and limb to illegally cross the border so they can be born here and eventually run for president.

By the way, the aforementioned Paul and the diaper-wearing pig senator from Louisiana, David Vitter, are introducing legislation to amend that birthright citizenship thing right out of the Constitution. Which I think means that Alberto Gonzales would never have gotten to be a judge or attorney general of the United States.

Michele Bachmann.

Rep. Paul Broun, M.D., R-Georgia, can tweet. “Mr. President, you don’t believe in the Constitution. You believe in socialism.” Obviously, the Queen has not taught him how to abbreviate appropriately. But Broun wouldn’t know a socialist if one bit him, not unlike the others of his ilk. If Obama were a socialist, Tim Geithner would not get a White House tour, let alone be Treasury Secretary. Broun also didn’t want to sit with any Democrats during the State of the Union and listen to while Obama “spews his venom.” Right after the 2008 election, he declared that Obama was gonna establish a “Gestapo-like” security force to impose a “Marxist dictatorship.” He’s also said he’s afraid Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and Obama would unleash a pandemic disease or use a natural disaster to declare martial law. Last year, he told Republicans in Georgia that Obama has what he needs to declare himself a dictator: “a national police force, gun control and control over the press.” I guess that’s not too weird for a guy who still calls the Civil War “The Great War of Yankee Aggression.” The man is seriously deranged. And a doctor. I wouldn’t see him for a hangnail.

Rush Limbaugh did a little racist mocking of the Chinese president last week. That’s OK though, because he’s Rush Limbaugh. Apparently California State Sen. Leeland Yee didn’t get the memo. He demanded that Limbaugh apologize. Limbaugh, of course, ranted about Yee, who promptly received faxed death threats from someone who said that Limbaugh would “kick your chink ass and expose you for the fool you are.” The San Francisco Chronicle:

The anonymous faxes, laced with racial epithets and misspellings, were addressed to “JoBama Rectum Sniffing Moron LEELAND LEE” and call Yee a “fish head,” according to a copy provided by Yee’s office.

The faxes include a drawing of a U.S. flag-adorned pickup truck towing a noose that is looped around what appears to be a caricature head of President Barack Obama. The document says: “Without exceptions, Marxists are enemies of the United States Constitution! Death to all Marxists! Foreign and Domestic!”

Lila Rose, the female version of James O’Keefe, went after a more sophisticated target than O’Keefe. She tried to punk Planned Parenthood, which, being 100 years old and knowing a thing or two about assholes, especially since O’Keefe and Andrew Breitbart have been so obvious about the tactic, didn’t fall for it. Instead, they notified the Justice Department after several of their offices were visited by men who were very pushy about wanting to set up health care for the underaged girls who were part of their sex trafficking rings.

John Boehner. He’s giving the keynote address at an insurance industry conference’s “lobbying day.”

We won’t be getting filibuster reform. Harry Reid and McConnell came up with a devil’s brew that keeps anything like that from happening. Instead, Harry promised that the Democrats would let the Republicans add a couple of amendments to bills and Mitch promised the Republicans wouldn’t filibuster as much. Oh, and it takes 67 votes to change the rules of the Senate.

Republicans lie. Democrats are just stupid.

And while they’re at it, Republicans are trying to eliminate the OPTIONAL public finance of presidential elections, because for some reason they think that will decrease the deficit. I have a better idea. Eliminate the private finance of presidential elections — in fact, of ALL elections. Let media provide some free ad space — a limited amount — hold some debates. Provide some funding for mailings. NO ROBO-CALLS. Think about it. And try to make it happen, although neither side wants any restrictions on the amount of bullshit they can put out in an election. Too bad, I say.

And Tea Partiers, your next president thinks that the launch of a shiny, 23-inch diameter, 184-pound ball with four antennae attached in 1957 caused the collapse in 1991 of the Soviet Union. Ah, hell. You probably do too. But I always thought it was Saint Ronnie. TPers, your next president needs to stick with one story.

And for the record, here’s what did it in a nutshell:

  • Gorbachev opened the political system
  • Gorbachev trashed the 5-year plan economic system
  • The Cold War ended.
  • Eastern Europe started dropping its communists.

All of those things started years earlier, of course — but the bottom line was that the Soviet system was too rigid and dogmatic. Its rigidity and dogmatism, which ultimately killed it, also kept it standing long after the Union had breathed its last. Kinda like those jeans you say are so filthy they can stand on their own.

And finally, WTF? I mean, really. The half-term governor of Alaska, and the Tea Party’s next president, went on and on about Obama’s “Winning the Future” theme, making snide little WTF comments … like some high school sophomore or left wing blogger who likes to mispronounce Boehner. Not presidential, folks. Not at all.

I tell you all this just because I see it. I can’t get away from it, and I think you should see it too, and not just gloss over it. Drink it in. Remember it. Tell your parents, aunts and uncles. Your grandparents. Your children. Your boss, your dentist. Anybody. Everybody. You don’t even have to deliver the news with much editorial comment, unless you’re like me and can’t resist the snark. But the problem should be obvious.

We’re fucked. Unless we do something about it.