Tag Archives: james o’keefe

The check’s in the mail and other lies

Politicians lie on a daily basis. Some of their lies are bigger than others, some hardly register at all. And some they’ve told so often that those of us still using our brains know full well they’re bullshit.

Unfortunately, my dear colleagues appear to have just fallen off the turnip truck this morning — or whatever morning the latest whopper came out — and believe everything they see and hear.

That’s what those unscrupulous SOBs are counting on — except they were only targeting the “real Americans” who can’t be bothered with actually looking into the veracity of any given statement themselves. Plus, these guys lie with such abandon that it really is difficult to keep up.

But I imagine the must be beside themselves with glee that my beloved colleagues are exactly the same, except they have cameras and newsprint and broadcast waves to propagate their stenography. Overpaid steno pool girls, the lot of ’em.

So, in case you’re having any difficulty discerning the truth, I’ve compiled a handy scorecard.

It’s all about the budget

Really? So that’s why Gov. Scott Walker and his Republican apparatchiks stripped all the actual budgetary measures out of their bill so they could pass the two pieces they really wanted: busting the union and setting up the sale of Wisconsin’s nuke plants to people like the Koch Brothers, who, incidentally, were big funders of Walker’s campaign. And since Walker et al were so successful, now we’re seeing a whole slew of union busting bills in state legislatures, all sans budgetary measures. All about the budget? No. All about busting unions and making rich people richer.

There is no danger from violent, right-wing extremists

Really? That’s because the folks saying that want to keep that option open, and the best way to do that is to deny it exists. And besides, these are people who regularly tout “Second
Amendment remedies” to solve the problems in their minds, when they’re not misrepresenting actual history and geography. But it’s a lie. Why, just recently, Seattle police arrested a white supremacist and charged him with planting a backpack full of explosives along the route of the city’s Martin Luther King Day march route. And that’s just the latest. Meanwhile, conservatives float fake videos to make the protests in Wisconsin look violent and whine that the “rhetoric” will end with somebody getting hurt. No kidding. Just that it’s their side with the violent rhetoric. Meanwhile, my colleagues can’t get past the false equivalency “both sides do it” lie.

And speaking of fake videos …

James O’Keefe caught NPR with its pants down

Really? James O’Keefe? The guy who has never once put out a video he didn’t edit dramatically to tell the story he wanted to tell? Now, it’s already been said that Ron Schiller said some things he shouldn’t have — even after the full video has been seen. But it’s also clear that O’Keefe moved things around and left out others to make it much worse than it was. Again. You didn’t hear, for example, Schiller tell the faux Muslims that they cannot buy the kind of coverage they were seeking from NPR. Nor did we hear that the most egregious things he said were quotes from Republican donors — he did not dispute them, but they were not his original thoughts.

Here is the pattern: “Sting” somebody, edit the tape and put it out, my colleagues will jump all over it, a knee-jerk reaction will cost jobs and funding, release the full video when the message is already out and it’s too late, claim you were being open and transparent when what you were really doing is putting out fodder for Republicans in Congress.

Here’s what these videos are about: Defunding and discrediting non-conservative organizations — generally any organization that does something other than promoting the aggregation of wealth at the top of the food chain and especially not organizations that try to help those at the bottom — preferably ones that generally have a good reputation in the real mainstream. ACORN was the test case, an easier mark. NAACP, Planned Parenthood, CNN, NPR. Let’s see, who could be next? They’re not very fond of AARP for supporting the “job-killing” health care reform bill. The American Cancer Society? The Red Cross? Public Citizen? The Children’s Defense Fund? The League of Women voters? CBS? The New York Times?

Here’s more proof to the lie: Wingnut Sen. Jim DeMented was ranting this week about NPR executives making more money than the president and that if they can afford to pay their CEOs more than the prez, they ought not have federal funding. Really? Public broadcasting’s chief execs made about $600,000 for one and $1.2 million for the other, compared to the president’s $400,000.  That is a lot. But, Sen. DeMented, what about all those bank execs who make tens of millions into the billions and got bailout money?

In the federal government, the president makes about 25 times the lowest paid employees. In the private world, the last number we saw on that came from several years ago — 263 times the little people. And that all came in the last, oh, 30 years. Since Reagan. Before that, about 25:1. With a higher tax rate on the higher portions of income that kept government going.

But I guess that’s to be expected now that the “Me” generation, ushered in by Saint Ronnie, has morphed into the crotchety old “Me First, Fuck the Rest of You” generation.

James O’Keefe? Just a tool.

Speaking of “job-killing” …

The Republican budget will create jobs

Really? Then why do all independent estimates of the effect on jobs of the GOP budget say it will cost jobs? Upwards of a million? Yeah, the Republican budget will create jobs. In India, China and Mexico. Again, because that’s what it’s all about — making labor costs cheaper for the rich people, cutting the taxes on the rich people and making sure they don’t have to pay for a goddamned thing.

Republicans are on the side of the little people, the “real” Americans

Really? Anyone who still believes that is … well, never mind. But get your freakin’ head out of the sand.

Everything else — the abortion debate, the gay debate, the immigration debate, the foreign affairs debate (well, partly on that one — some of that debate is aimed at limiting tax dollars going to foreign countries, except for the ones we like, and therefore reducing the tax burden on the rich), every last one of ’em is just a smokescreen for the real agenda — increasing the wealth of the wealthy.

The conservatives were mighty pissed off at the end of the Robber Baron era, and now that we’re more than a century gone from that and only stupid liberals actual think about how history informs the present, it’s time to bring it back.

The bottom line is that it’s still all about greed. As I’ve said over and over, I don’t understand why anyone would need all that money, except to be extravagant, and even then, you’d have a ton left over. For what? Kinda makes me laugh — all the right wing conspiracy theories about a liberal New World Order in which the rich people collude with the government to run the world — that’s what’s happening. Except it’s a conservative New World Order. And in that, the conspiracy theorists are right — it’s dangerous and very bad for the people.

Do something

This is who America put in charge of the House Oversight Committee:

Darrell Issa, a man who used his power to prevent the ranking Democrat on the committee from using his opening statement to charge that Issa prevented the summoning of a witness from JPMorgan Chase to explain the bank’s role in alleged foreclosure fraud.

This is who Kentuckians, already saddled with a man who likes like a turtle and declared that his main goal for the next two years is to stop Barack Obama from being re-elected, chose to join Mitch McConnell in the Senate:

Rand Paul, a man who declared on CNN he wanted to end all foreign aid. ALL foreign aid. No exceptions. Of course, he also isn’t sure he would have voted for the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

New Mexico. That’s a state that skipped jumping the shark and went all the way to batshit insane. The new governor, Susana Martinez, picked Harrison Schmidt, to head up the state’s environmental concerns. Schmitt, in case the name sounds familiar, is a former astronaut and U.S. senator, who went on conspiracy freak Alex Jones’ radio show to claim that “the environmental movement” is just a bunch of commies scaring people by misusing science.

But then, New Mexico is right next door to Arizona, which is following up its “show your papers” law by banning ethnic studies in public schools and targeting the 14th Amendment because it declares that if you’re born in the United States, you’re a citizen. Can’t have that. The children of illegal immigrants might send secret messages to their mothers from the womb, forcing them to risk life and limb to illegally cross the border so they can be born here and eventually run for president.

By the way, the aforementioned Paul and the diaper-wearing pig senator from Louisiana, David Vitter, are introducing legislation to amend that birthright citizenship thing right out of the Constitution. Which I think means that Alberto Gonzales would never have gotten to be a judge or attorney general of the United States.

Michele Bachmann.

Rep. Paul Broun, M.D., R-Georgia, can tweet. “Mr. President, you don’t believe in the Constitution. You believe in socialism.” Obviously, the Queen has not taught him how to abbreviate appropriately. But Broun wouldn’t know a socialist if one bit him, not unlike the others of his ilk. If Obama were a socialist, Tim Geithner would not get a White House tour, let alone be Treasury Secretary. Broun also didn’t want to sit with any Democrats during the State of the Union and listen to while Obama “spews his venom.” Right after the 2008 election, he declared that Obama was gonna establish a “Gestapo-like” security force to impose a “Marxist dictatorship.” He’s also said he’s afraid Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and Obama would unleash a pandemic disease or use a natural disaster to declare martial law. Last year, he told Republicans in Georgia that Obama has what he needs to declare himself a dictator: “a national police force, gun control and control over the press.” I guess that’s not too weird for a guy who still calls the Civil War “The Great War of Yankee Aggression.” The man is seriously deranged. And a doctor. I wouldn’t see him for a hangnail.

Rush Limbaugh did a little racist mocking of the Chinese president last week. That’s OK though, because he’s Rush Limbaugh. Apparently California State Sen. Leeland Yee didn’t get the memo. He demanded that Limbaugh apologize. Limbaugh, of course, ranted about Yee, who promptly received faxed death threats from someone who said that Limbaugh would “kick your chink ass and expose you for the fool you are.” The San Francisco Chronicle:

The anonymous faxes, laced with racial epithets and misspellings, were addressed to “JoBama Rectum Sniffing Moron LEELAND LEE” and call Yee a “fish head,” according to a copy provided by Yee’s office.

The faxes include a drawing of a U.S. flag-adorned pickup truck towing a noose that is looped around what appears to be a caricature head of President Barack Obama. The document says: “Without exceptions, Marxists are enemies of the United States Constitution! Death to all Marxists! Foreign and Domestic!”

Lila Rose, the female version of James O’Keefe, went after a more sophisticated target than O’Keefe. She tried to punk Planned Parenthood, which, being 100 years old and knowing a thing or two about assholes, especially since O’Keefe and Andrew Breitbart have been so obvious about the tactic, didn’t fall for it. Instead, they notified the Justice Department after several of their offices were visited by men who were very pushy about wanting to set up health care for the underaged girls who were part of their sex trafficking rings.

John Boehner. He’s giving the keynote address at an insurance industry conference’s “lobbying day.”

We won’t be getting filibuster reform. Harry Reid and McConnell came up with a devil’s brew that keeps anything like that from happening. Instead, Harry promised that the Democrats would let the Republicans add a couple of amendments to bills and Mitch promised the Republicans wouldn’t filibuster as much. Oh, and it takes 67 votes to change the rules of the Senate.

Republicans lie. Democrats are just stupid.

And while they’re at it, Republicans are trying to eliminate the OPTIONAL public finance of presidential elections, because for some reason they think that will decrease the deficit. I have a better idea. Eliminate the private finance of presidential elections — in fact, of ALL elections. Let media provide some free ad space — a limited amount — hold some debates. Provide some funding for mailings. NO ROBO-CALLS. Think about it. And try to make it happen, although neither side wants any restrictions on the amount of bullshit they can put out in an election. Too bad, I say.

And Tea Partiers, your next president thinks that the launch of a shiny, 23-inch diameter, 184-pound ball with four antennae attached in 1957 caused the collapse in 1991 of the Soviet Union. Ah, hell. You probably do too. But I always thought it was Saint Ronnie. TPers, your next president needs to stick with one story.

And for the record, here’s what did it in a nutshell:

  • Gorbachev opened the political system
  • Gorbachev trashed the 5-year plan economic system
  • The Cold War ended.
  • Eastern Europe started dropping its communists.

All of those things started years earlier, of course — but the bottom line was that the Soviet system was too rigid and dogmatic. Its rigidity and dogmatism, which ultimately killed it, also kept it standing long after the Union had breathed its last. Kinda like those jeans you say are so filthy they can stand on their own.

And finally, WTF? I mean, really. The half-term governor of Alaska, and the Tea Party’s next president, went on and on about Obama’s “Winning the Future” theme, making snide little WTF comments … like some high school sophomore or left wing blogger who likes to mispronounce Boehner. Not presidential, folks. Not at all.

I tell you all this just because I see it. I can’t get away from it, and I think you should see it too, and not just gloss over it. Drink it in. Remember it. Tell your parents, aunts and uncles. Your grandparents. Your children. Your boss, your dentist. Anybody. Everybody. You don’t even have to deliver the news with much editorial comment, unless you’re like me and can’t resist the snark. But the problem should be obvious.

We’re fucked. Unless we do something about it.


James O’Keefe thinks he can “punk” a CNN reporter by pretending to seduce her on camera. A state assistant attorney general who looks oddly like Peewee Herman spends months harassing the openly gay president of his alma mater’s student body. Two college freshmen use a hidden camera to stream — live on the Internet — the gay sexual encounter of another freshman.

Do we have an epidemic of people who haven’t progressed past their 15th birthdays?

That last one is particularly tragic. Tyler Clementi, just 18, was so horrified by not only being outed live on the internet but by having his sex live spilled out there for the world to see that he jumped off the George Washington Bridge into the Hudson River. Somebody somewhere noted that Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei, the two morons who played this dastardly “prank” on Clementi, will have to live with this for the rest of their lives. I sure hope so, because Clementi won’t get to live the rest of his life at all, and his parents and others who loved him will live with the horror of his death for the rest of theirs.

Andrew Shirvell, the homophobic moron assistant AG in Michigan, is now banned from the campus of the University of Michigan. It’s people like him that make me wish I’d been the one to think up Dickipedia, because right about now he’d be the featured Dick. And right alongside him would be his boss, Mike Cox, who says “oh, no, I can’t just fire him. That would violate his first amendment rights.” Yeah, yeah, yeah, we all have the right to be a dick. But seriously, do you want someone with that level of maturity in that kind of position? Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm, who used to be the attorney general, knows the answer to that question. She tweeted it.

If I was still Attorney General and Andrew Shirvell worked for me, he would have already been fired.

Now there’s a governor who can use Twitter without sounding like an idiot.

Sure Shirvell took a “voluntary leave of absence,” which means either a) he’ll stay off the job until my ADD colleagues move on to the next shiny object or b) Shirvell finds a new job and this is all done with.

And O’Keefe. Jesus H. Christ on a cross. Why is this guy not in jail? Or juvenile detention? He destroyed ACORN with heavily edited videos (thanks to a bunch of other dicks in the U.S. Congress who couldn’t be bothered to find the facts — not unlike a bunch of other dicks in the Obama administration who couldn’t be bothered to get the facts on Shirley Sherrod. But at least the truth came out faster on her — by the time the truth about O’Keefe and the ACORN videos came out, my colleagues had moved on to Lindsay Lohan’s latest tribulations and couldn’t have cared less). And O’Keefe, then he got caught trying to wiretap Sen. Mary Landrieu’s office. Dick, dick dick. But now — finally — even the conservatives are getting the picture that this guy’s a liability. The National Review:

This CNN episode ought to convince all conservatives that not only should O’Keefe’s behavior be condemned, but conservative leaders and organizations need to do a better job of assessing the maturity level and character of the people they hire, support, or praise.

Well, duh. Hold the presses on that one. O’Keefe’s plot was steeped in sexism, not unlike many teenaged boys who haven’t been taught how to behave in public.

But these guys aren’t the only idiots opening their mouths to prove it. Joe Miller, the wannabe senator in Alaska, tweeted a series of notes about how he should be checking out office furniture and doing some house-hunting and such while he’s in Washington, you know, because he’s guaranteed to win the election and all. Of course, he’s blamed a staffer who now won’t be able to tweet on Joe’s account. Really? A staffer? Right. I guess it was the same staffer who tweeted “What’s the difference between selling out your parties values and the world’s oldest profession” as Lisa Murkowski, the senator he beat in the Republican primary — weighed the idea of a write-in candidacy. Murkowski, who decided to run that race and actually leading him right now — had a little to say about his most recent tweets. Well, actually it was her spokesman.

For someone who wants to be a freshman senator, this is pretty sophomoric.

Then there’s Erick “RedState” Erickson, who can’t stop tweeting he wants to “beat someone to a bloody pulp,” and this after he deleted his tweets calling then-Supreme Court Justice David Souter a “child-molesting goat fucker.” And CNN still thinks it’s a good idea to pay him to appear on air and spew his bullshit to the world. At least then CNN president Jon Klein did. Maybe new president Ken Jautz will think better of it. Oh, wait. Jautz was the guy who first put Glenn Beck on television. Glenn Beck, the former shock jock, and we all know how mature those guys are.

Remember Joe Wilson? He was so grown-up that he shouted “You lie!” at President Obama as he was addressing a joint session of Congress.

And don’t get me started on Carl Paladino, the TeaPublican candidate for governor in New York. OK, so maybe he’s not really immature. He’s just a asshole.

But for all these folks, and many other just like them, I have but one question:

Didn’t your mama teach you better?

Yeah, there’s some family values for you.